He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him. — Proverbs 13:24.
Have you ever felt frustrated over disciplining your child? That sometimes it makes you think you’re not doing a good job in the Parenting Department? That if it were some course in college, you’d flunk miserably? Well, you’re not alone. I sometimes feel it too.
They say if you want to be a good parent, you can’t be too strict nor too permissive. You need to learn how to balance discipline and love. But since you can’t practice being a parent unless you become one, how would you know when you’re pulling the rope too tight or too loose? Children, as they grow, tend to do things on their own without knowing the consequences of their actions. And as parents, we try to protect them from going through unnecessary hurts and frustrations. Hence, the spoiling part comes in (ahhh, I’m so guilty!). Between me and my husband, he is the disciplinarian and I (believe) am the spoiler. Although he can be a spoiler too, he seems to know perfectly where to draw the line and is often good at imposing corrective actions on our four-year-old son. (Yeah, I guess he’s the better parent).
There are many ways to discipline a child. One of them is spanking. While I strongly agree that this may be an effective method, I don’t think it works for every child (especially if it’s done the wrong way). If spanking is too much and is done out of anger and frustration of the parent, the child becomes more violent and hard to control.
When we were just a couple, my husband once told me that spanking is okay as long as it is clearly explained to the child the reason for such kind of discipline and as long as it doesn’t go beyond a mere slap on the butt. If you hit your child on the head or strangle his neck, then it becomes wrong. As parents, we need to know the difference between child abuse and discipline.
I always try to discipline my son by patiently (errr – sometimes I’m not even that patient. LOL) explaining to him why he can’t always get what he wants, but more often than not, my begging just falls on deaf ears. It’s just amazing how kids can be controlling sometimes. *sigh* And because we love them, we often lose our parental authority by giving in to their wishes. (Guilty again! LOL)
I don’t believe in violence, but if you’re gonna ask me if spanking is sometimes necessary to discipline our children, then my answer is yes. But if you can make them follow your rules and control their wrongdoings without spanking, then much better. Remember, strict parenting doesn’t always get positive results.
How about you? How do you discipline your child? What do you do to make him listen to you without spanking? Do you believe in the saying Spare the rod and spoil the child?
Share your thoughts, please! Thank you.
My name is Honney. A 
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» Saturday
wow, what a nice blog.thanx for visiting mine. Will add u in my list.
I sometimes spank my 4 yr old boy once he won’t listen to me. I know its against the law ( at least dito sa country where I living now) But hubby has a good patience. He don’t spanks nor scream, but talk calmly to our son. Nakakabilib yong pasensya niya, but I always have a short temper.
Masarap at mahirap maging nanay
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Honney Reply:
April 7th, 2010 at 2:43 am
Sa house, my son listens to his dad more than he does to me. Hindi kasi sya takot sa akin. Usually, if I can’t make him listen to me, I call my husband and say, “Daddy o! Ang tigas ng ulo ng anak mo. Ayaw na naman makinig!” Hehe. Then my problem ends there.
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» Sunday
honestly i thought this was an easy question to answer, pero ngayon nagka-baby na — well kanya kanya naman tayo but if you’ll ask me, iba na ang panahon ngayon, kids are smarter, spanking and punishing them may sometimes lead the other way around. You know how kids love to mimick.. Sabi mo nga, kung mapapakinig mo sila without spanking, much better.
Sabi nga ng mom in law ng mom ko who’s been with kids for more than 60 years (may kindergarten school kasi sila), madalas nagrereflect daw sa bata yung treatment ng magulang sa kanila like the way they talk, the way they treat their friends, kaya kahit sila they’re against spanking
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» Sunday
i like this article of yours but I’m kind of disagree of spanking bawal kasi dito sa states. timeouts works for me but sometime si hit them too by pulling one strand of their hair heheheheh only applies to my eldest though kasi baby pa si freya.
nasa magulan nalang siguro kung pano idisiplina mga anak as long hindi abusive diba.
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» Sunday
hey honney! musta na? it’s been a while ah! happy easter!
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» Monday
hay naku, hirap din talaga nyan lalo na if sobrang kulit at matigas ang ulo haha. Si Sean minsan kapag di nakikinig, or di sumusunod, I would send him sa room para sa time out. Sabi ko lalabas lang sya pag behave na sya or pag susunod na sya. After time out at ginawa na naman nya ulit yung hindi dapat, napapalo ko talaga. I always ask him kung bakit kailangan nya pang hintayin na paluin sya bago sya sumunod. Takot naman mapalo!
At eto pa, kapag nasa mall, tapos gusto nya bumili ng toy and I would tell him na hindi pwede, tska marami na syang toys sa house, iiyak yun, or uupo sa floor! Iinit agad ulo ko nun! Hindi ko naman sya pwede paluin sa harap ng maraming tao. So sinasabi ko na lang na pag hindi sya tumigil sa pag iyak at pag di sya tumayo uuwi na kami kahit karadating lang namin. Ayun tumatayo naman agad.
Kasi nangyari na yung nag tantrums na naman sya kasi may gusto syang bilhin eh sabi ko nakabili na the other day, next time na lang ulit. Ayun, umiiyak at ayaw umalis sa pwesto, kahit kinakausap ko ayaw sumunod. So sabi ko, uwi na lang kami, pag alis ko, tumayo na rin sya at sumunod. Umuwi talaga kami kahit 10 minutes pa lang kami dun.
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Honney Reply:
April 13th, 2010 at 5:15 am
Buti si Greggy hindi pa naman naglulupasay sa mall. Haha. Ang mahirap lang sa kanya pag nasa playground or timezone kami, halos ayaw ng umuwi. Tinatakbuhan kami ng daddy nya. Nung buntis nga ako kay Yesha, tinaguan ako sa department store. Hinabol ko sya pero biglang nawala. Yun pala sumuot dun sa ilalim ng mga damitan. hays, grabe ang kaba ko kasi di ko sya makita talaga. So nagsisigaw ako, “Greg, nasan ka na?!” As in halata talaga sa boses ko na ninenerbyos na ako. Keber lang kahit pinagtitinginan ako ng sales ladies. Hehe.
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» Tuesday
love your post:) actually you should not be too strict nor too permissive.Bonding is important too.If you have open communication that will be great.
In my case,yes i discipline my kids very well when they are doing wrong but after that i make sure that i explain to them about it and make them understand it…
xoxo
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» Tuesday
My parents were very much against spanking. They didn’t believe that it help matters. They used this method – isolation. Or in Filipino terms, “sala.” When I do silly and naughty and wrong things, my Dad would make me go sit on a chair and I can’t go anywhere. I can’t watch TV, I can’t stand up to go somewhere, or he would be deny me the things I love like freedom to play outside in the afternoon. It worked I guess
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» Sunday
wow happy beautiful family. Your kids are adorable.
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Honney Reply:
April 13th, 2010 at 5:10 am
Thank you, Weng! God bless!
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